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The Bottom Line: How do real estate agents build a business on referrals instead of leads? According to Amanda DiVito Parle, leader of DiVito Dream Makers and one of Colorado’s top-producing teams, the answer is relationships built through simple, consistent actions repeated over a long period of time. Birthday calls. Handwritten notes. Client events. Hand-delivered gifts. A listing appointment process that starts at the kitchen table before a single price is discussed. None of it is complicated. Almost nobody does it consistently. The agents who do build businesses that run almost entirely on people who already know and trust them, and those clients send everyone they know. As Amanda puts it, content starts the conversation, but trust is what earns you a seat at the kitchen table.
The Kitchen Table Close: How to Build a Referral Real Estate Business
Most agents spend their entire career chasing new leads. Amanda DiVito Parle spent hers going deeper with the people who already knew her.
The result is one of Colorado’s top-producing real estate teams, built almost entirely on repeat and referral business, running on a set of habits that sound almost too simple to be the whole answer.
Birthday calls. Handwritten notes. Client appreciation events. Hand-delivered gifts. A listing appointment that starts at the kitchen table before anyone talks price.
None of it is complicated. Almost nobody does it consistently. And that gap, between what people know they should do and what they actually do, is exactly where Amanda built her business.
Who Is Amanda DiVito Parle?
Amanda DiVito Parle began her career in 2003 after spending much of her childhood in her family’s real estate business. Today she leads DiVito Dream Makers, one of the top-producing teams in the Denver Metro market.
She has served on the Board of Directors for the Jefferson County Association of REALTORS, as President of the Builder-Realty Council of Metropolitan Denver, has been named to REALTOR Magazine’s 30 Under 30, and earned the REALTOR of the Year lifetime achievement award from the Denver Metro Association of REALTORS. She also hosts her own podcast, At the Kitchen Table with ADP.
She is someone who has actually built what most agents say they want to build. This episode is worth paying attention to.
Build Your Brand Around Them, Not You
This is where Amanda starts, and it reframes the whole conversation about personal branding.
Most agents build their brand around themselves. Their production numbers, their awards, their headshot. Amanda’s point is that the strongest brands are built around the client, what they want, what they’re trying to achieve, and what their life looks like after the transaction.
People don’t hire the most impressive agent. They hire the one they feel most connected to. A brand that reflects the client’s aspirations creates that connection before the first conversation even happens.
Repeat and Referral Is a Consistency Game
Amanda is direct about this. There is no secret strategy. There is no hack. The foundation of a repeat and referral business is consistent communication with the people who already know you, repeated over years.
Birthday calls. Not texts. Actual calls. Handwritten notes on move-in anniversaries. Personal check-ins that have nothing to do with asking for business. These things work because almost nobody actually does them. They stand out because the bar is so low.
Most agents know they should do this. They start for a few weeks, get busy, and stop. Amanda built a system around it so it happens whether she feels like it or not. That’s the difference between an intention and a business.
Client Events That Actually Work
Amanda runs client appreciation events, and she makes a point that I think most agents miss about why they work.
The event itself is almost secondary. What matters is the reason to reach out before the event, the conversations during it, and the reason to follow up after. One event creates three or four natural touchpoints with people in your database who might have otherwise gone two years without hearing from you.
She also talks about something she calls Popeyes drops, hand-delivering personal gifts directly to clients. It sounds small. The impression it leaves is not small. In a world of automated email sequences and generic social media posts, someone showing up at your door with something thoughtful is genuinely memorable.
Physical Marketing Still Works
This might be counterintuitive in 2026 but Amanda makes the case clearly. Direct mail, hand-delivered gifts, and physical touchpoints stand out more now than they ever have because everyone else went digital.
The inbox is crowded. The social feed is crowded. A handwritten note on someone’s counter is not crowded. It sits there. People see it multiple times. Their spouse sees it. It creates a physical reminder of who you are and what you did for them in a way that an email simply cannot.
Amanda uses physical marketing as a complement to digital, not a replacement for it. Together they cover every channel the people in her database might actually be paying attention to.
The Kitchen Table Consultation
This is the part of the episode I think every listing agent needs to hear.
Amanda starts every listing appointment at the kitchen table. Before the tour. Before any conversation about price. Just sitting down with the sellers, understanding their situation, what their goals are, what their timeline looks like, what matters most to them about this move.
Most agents walk in, tour the house, and jump straight to pricing. Amanda’s process builds trust and gathers information before any of that happens. By the time she sees the home, she already understands the people inside it.
She also never brings a pre-made CMA to the first appointment. She believes pricing should come after seeing the property, not before, and she builds a second appointment into her process specifically to present pricing. That second meeting creates additional trust and positions her as someone who takes this seriously enough to do it right.
Never Assume You Have the Listing
This one made me sit up a little. Amanda says she walks into every listing appointment, even with past clients, assuming she is in competition.
Most agents get complacent with repeat clients. They assume the relationship is enough. Amanda’s point is that every client is potentially interviewing other agents, and showing up with the same level of preparation and care you brought to the first appointment, every single time, is what keeps the relationship intact.
The agents who lose repeat clients are almost always the ones who got comfortable. Amanda doesn’t let herself get comfortable.
The Goal of Marketing Is Conversation
Here’s the framework Amanda uses to think about all of it.
Content, events, direct mail, personal branding, database management. None of it is the end goal. All of it exists for one reason: to create conversations with the right people.
And conversations exist for one reason: to build trust.
And trust is what earns you a seat at the kitchen table when someone is ready to make one of the biggest decisions of their life.
That is the whole system. It is not complicated. It just requires doing the simple things consistently, over a long period of time, without getting distracted by whatever shiny new tactic shows up next week.
The Economics of Relationship Marketing
Amanda talks about this near the end of the episode and it’s worth sitting with.
Relationship marketing is cheap compared to lead generation. A birthday call costs nothing. A handwritten note costs a stamp. A client appreciation event costs a fraction of what most agents spend on paid leads in a month.
The return is also fundamentally different. A paid lead is a one-time transaction opportunity. A relationship is a source of ongoing repeat business and referrals that compounds over years. The math on a well-nurtured database is dramatically better than the math on a lead generation machine, especially once you factor in the conversion rate of someone who already trusts you versus a cold internet lead.
The Real Point
Amanda DiVito Parle has been doing this for over 20 years and the thing that runs her entire business is a set of habits most agents never commit to: stay in touch, show up in person, build trust before asking for anything, and treat every appointment like you have to earn it.
None of it requires a big budget or a complicated system. It requires consistency, which turns out to be the rarest thing in this industry.
Listen to this episode and then go look at your database honestly. How many of those people have heard from you in the last 90 days? That number will tell you everything about where your business is headed.
🎧 Listen to the full episode here (embed your player above)
Connect with Amanda: amandadivito.com
DiVito Dream Makers: divitodreammakers.com
KEY TAKEAWAYS
- Build your brand around clients, not yourself. The strongest brands reflect the client’s dreams and goals, not the agent’s production numbers.
- Repeat and referral is a consistency game. Birthday calls, handwritten notes, and personal check-ins work because almost nobody actually does them consistently.
- The best marketing is often the simplest. Simple actions repeated over time outperform complicated tactics almost every time.
- Client events create multiple touchpoints from a single action. The event generates reasons to reach out before, during, and after, all from one investment.
- Physical marketing stands out in a digital world. Hand-delivered gifts and direct mail create memorable, tangible impressions that emails and social posts cannot.
- Start listing appointments at the kitchen table. Establish rapport and understand motivations before any conversation about price or property condition.
- Never assume you already have the listing. Every appointment, even with repeat clients, deserves your full preparation and effort.
- Never arrive with a pre-made CMA. Pricing should follow seeing the property. A second appointment builds professionalism and additional trust.
- The goal of all marketing is conversation. Content, events, and branding all exist to create meaningful conversations with the right people.
- Relationship marketing has better economics than lead generation. The cost is lower, the conversion rate is higher, and the results compound over years instead of one transaction at a time.
TIMESTAMPS
0:00 Why conversations are the most important skill in real estate
0:52 The challenge of building trust at the kitchen table
1:57 Meet Amanda DiVito Parle and her journey in real estate
3:15 How burnout led to a new perspective on business
4:15 Why strong brands create more conversations
5:12 Building a brand around clients instead of yourself
6:29 The foundation of a repeat and referral business
7:00 Birthday calls, handwritten notes, and relationship marketing
8:15 Hosting client appreciation events that actually work
9:20 The strategy behind Popeyes drops and personal gift deliveries
12:20 Building a database-driven business through consistency
13:21 Why simple marketing tactics outperform shiny objects
14:03 Direct mail, personal touches, and staying top of mind
15:00 Why AI won’t replace authentic relationships
16:38 The true purpose of content marketing
17:30 Amanda’s kitchen table consultation strategy
18:25 Taking control of the listing appointment
19:17 Why she sits at the table before touring the house
20:11 Never assume you already have the listing
21:06 Collecting relationship data that matters
21:45 Why Amanda never arrives with a pre-made CMA
22:26 Creating a professional and memorable client experience
24:10 Why she leaves without asking for the listing
25:56 The power of leaving valuable information behind
27:06 The economics of relationship-based marketing
28:21 How relationship marketing generates long-term ROI
ABOUT AMANDA DIVITO PARLE
Amanda DiVito Parle began her career as a REALTOR in 2003 after spending much of her childhood working in her family’s real estate business. Today she leads DiVito Dream Makers, one of Colorado’s top-producing real estate teams and a recognized leader throughout the Denver Metro market.
She has served on the Board of Directors for the Jefferson County Association of REALTORS and as President of the Builder-Realty Council of Metropolitan Denver. Her achievements include being named to REALTOR Magazine’s 30 Under 30, multiple Young Professional of the Year awards, and the REALTOR of the Year lifetime achievement award from the Denver Metro Association of REALTORS.
Company Website: divitodreammakers.com
Personal Website: amandadivito.com
LinkedIn: Amanda DiVito Parle
Instagram: @amandadivitoparle
Facebook: Amanda DiVito Parle
YouTube: At the Kitchen Table with ADP
Podcast: At the Kitchen Table
FAQ — PEOPLE ALSO ASK (USE GUTENBERG FAQ BLOCK IN WORDPRESS)
How do real estate agents build a referral-based business?
The foundation is consistent, genuine communication with the people who already know you. Amanda DiVito Parle built one of Colorado’s top-producing teams through birthday calls, handwritten anniversary notes, client appreciation events, and personal gift deliveries, none of which require a big budget, all of which require doing them every year without stopping. The agents who build strong referral businesses are not doing anything complicated. They are doing simple things consistently over a long period of time when most agents have already moved on to the next shiny tactic.
What is the best strategy for a real estate listing appointment?
Amanda DiVito Parle starts every listing appointment at the kitchen table before touring the property or discussing price. She focuses first on understanding the seller’s situation, goals, and timeline, which builds trust and gathers information that makes the pricing conversation far more effective. She also never brings a pre-made CMA to the first appointment, believing pricing should follow actually seeing the property. A second appointment for the pricing presentation adds professionalism and deepens trust before any decision is made.
How do real estate agents stay top of mind with past clients?
The most effective methods are also the most consistent. Birthday calls, not just texts but actual phone calls, stand out because so few agents make them. Handwritten notes on move-in anniversaries, client events that give people a reason to gather, and personal touches like hand-delivered gifts all create memorable impressions. Amanda DiVito Parle’s approach is to treat past clients like the long-term relationships they are, with regular contact that has nothing to do with asking for a referral.
Do client appreciation events actually work in real estate?
Yes, but not for the reason most agents think. The event itself matters less than the touchpoints it creates around it. A single client event generates natural reasons to reach out before the event, have meaningful conversations during it, and follow up afterward. That is three or four relationship touchpoints from one investment of time and money. Amanda DiVito Parle uses events as a system for staying connected with her database rather than as a marketing stunt.
How do I get more repeat business as a real estate agent?
Stay in consistent contact with your past clients in a way that feels personal and genuine rather than automated. Birthday calls, anniversary notes, and personal check-ins that are not connected to asking for business are the foundation. The agents who lose repeat clients almost always lost them through neglect, not because someone else offered a lower commission. Amanda DiVito Parle’s rule is to treat every listing appointment, even with repeat clients, as though she is in competition, which keeps her preparation and care level high regardless of how comfortable the relationship feels.
What is database marketing in real estate?
Database marketing means treating the contacts already in your sphere as your primary business asset and investing in those relationships consistently rather than constantly chasing new cold leads. It includes regular personal outreach like birthday calls and anniversary notes, events that bring people together, direct mail and physical touches that stand out in a digital world, and a system that ensures nobody in your database goes more than 90 days without hearing from you in some meaningful way. The economics are significantly better than traditional lead generation because the conversion rate of someone who already trusts you is dramatically higher than a cold internet lead.
You may also want to listen to:
“You Don’t Have a Lead Problem. You Have a Conversion Problem.” (Jan Roos)
“AI Can Replace a Lot. It Will Never Replace Your Relationships.“ (Solo episode)
“Stop Trying to Sound Perfect. Your Clients Want the Real You.“ (Arynne Crane)
